


when the stars are in alignment

by pastelhajime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Acting AU, Alcohol Poisoning, Drinking, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Irrational Love, M/M, Slow Burn, Smoking, aged up character(s), mentions of death/suicide, this is gonna be really emotional js, y'all are gonna hate me for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-08-19 17:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8219200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelhajime/pseuds/pastelhajime
Summary: "Until we meet again, when the stars are in alignment." The sun was setting now, and it brought out Hajime's features even more, turning them a soft pink.Tooru rolled his eyes painfully, like it hurt. "Don't pull that bullshit on me."Hajime shrugged, staring directly at Tooru. Like he couldn't look away. "Didn't seem like bullshit when you said it."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> another iwaoi fic?? when im not yet done with the other one?? and a new username?? are u trying to kill ur readers shei???
> 
> oKAY i can explain!! abt the original fic; i'm having pretty bad writer's block so this serves as a way to jog my inspo a little, until i get some new ideas. besides, i've had this idea for a long time now, and it's about time i put it to use
> 
> the user: i wanted it to match with my new twitter handle (which you should follow), so sorry for any confusion!!
> 
> that being said, enjoy this fic!!

_“Until we meet again, when the stars are in alignment.”_

\----------

“Hey, Iwaizumi-san!” Hajime looked up to see the face of Kindaichi, his younger co-worker. “Do you have a moment?” 

Hajime looked down at his computer. Working as an editor was never easy, what with all the fussy authors and all. But this client in particular seemed hell-bent on driving Hajime insane, and he was about five minutes away from tearing his hair out. 

He shut his laptop. “Sure,” He replied, forcing a smile. “What do you need?”

Kindaichi looked down. “I-Well,” He reached into his pocket and brought two tickets. Iwaizumi frowned. “My cousin gave me two tickets to this play she's in, and, well, I was wondering if you could go with me?”

“What?”

“I know this is weird; we aren’t even that close.” Kindaichi squeezed his eyes shut and bowed. “But I asked everyone else I knew, and they weren’t free, so—“

“I’ll go,” Hajime put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “It’s not like have plans, anyway. And besides, who knows? It might be fun.”

_That was my first mistake. I should have never said yes._

“R-Really?” Kindaichi’s face lit up, and Hajime smiled warmly. The younger boy was earnest, and he liked that. “You won’t regret it, I promise!”

_But it was his eyes that got me. How could I say no to them?_

Hajime ruffled the boy’s hair affectionately. “I’m sure it’ll be great. Now, I gotta get back to this client, okay?”

Kindaichi nodded eagerly. “Of course! Thank you again, Iwaizumi-san!”

Hajime shrugged. “No problem,” He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, opening up his computer again. Sighing, he tried to craft a reply to the troublesome author’s email, and it took all of his willpower not to call him a “narcissistic, egotistical, self-absorbed, worthless son-of-a-bitch with undercooked ramen noodles for brains.”

He shook his head. Two more hours, and he could leave.

_Then again, they were nothing compared to what was to come. Compared to **him** , this boy was a walk in the park._

\------------

“It’s a date!”

“Will you shut _up_?” Hajime hissed, knotting his tie while glaring at his friend, Makki, through the mirror. He had called him and Mattsun over to help him pick out what to wear for the play, but _clearly_ , that had been a bad move. “I have neighbours!”

“And I don’t care!” Makki laughed, tilting his head back into Mattsun’s shoulder. The raven-haired boy frowned but didn’t complain. “Iwaizumi Hajime, heart of steel, broke down his walls to accompany little Turnip-kun here, on a _date_! 

“For the last time, it’s not a date!” Hajime snapped. He smoothed down his tie. “And stop calling him ‘Turnip-kun’; his name is Kindaichi.”

“Soon to be the second Iwaizumi,” Makki wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and Hajime rolled his eyes. There was no reasoning with him.

“Mattsun,” Hajime turned to the other boy. “Are you sure that this tie doesn’t overdo it?”

Mattsun looked up from his phone. “No, man, you’re good.” He gave Hajime a quick onceover. “I’ve been to the place you’re going to, it’s kind of really fancy.”

“Well, _obviously_.” Makki giggled. “Nothing less than the best for our little Hajime. And besides, Turnip-kun probably spent _months_ fantasizing this!”

“I’m not your little anything,” Hajime rolled his eyes and slipped his phone into his pocket. “Well, I’m heading out now. Kindaichi said he’s going to meet me downstairs.”

“Boyfriend picking you up,” Makki nodded. “Nice move. I approve.”

Hajime flipped the other boy off. “Mattsun, you and Makki can stay here if you want, but please make sure Makki doesn’t break anything? I don’t want a repeat of the unfortunate ‘plate smashing’ incident.”

Mattsun nodded as Makki scowled. “Hey, it’s not my fault they’re breakable when they’ve clearly been labelled ‘unbreakable’!”

“Whatever.” Hajime headed for the door and put his shoes on. “Spare key’s under the front mat, lock up before you leave, okay?”

“Got it,” Makki winked. “Have fun, but not _too_ much f—“

Hajime didn’t listen to the rest. Instead, he stepped outside, slamming the door behind him for dramatic effect. Pressing the elevator button, he pulled out a cigarette, sighing. Was this really a date? Was Makki telling the truth?

_You’re worrying over such trivial things? Get a hold of yourself, Hajime._

Shaking his head, Hajime stepped into the elevator, holding the cigarette between his index and middle finger and letting the smoke escape his slightly parted lips. He didn’t have any romantic feelings for Kindaichi, that was for sure. He saw him as a co-worker, nothing more and nothing less. But that didn’t guarantee that Kindaichi felt the same way…

 _If this is all it takes to get you to worry, then I’m not surprised you broke down so easily. Because this is just a taster. A sample of what is to come._

“Iwaizumi-san,” Kindaichi flashed Hajime a hopeful grin. Hajime nodded, looking down, placing the cigarette back in his mouth. “Shall we go?”

“Yeah,” Hajime kicked at a pebble and followed Kindaichi to his car, and tried not to notice the way Kindaichi hummed as he walked, or how Kindaichi opened the car door for him. Instead, he put out his cigarette.

“The play doesn’t start until eight,” Kindaichi explained, buckling his seatbelt. Hajime dug out his phone and checked the time. It was seven. “Would you like to get some dinner first? 

“No.” Hajime deadpanned, blankly and immediately. And maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him, but Kindaichi’s face dropped, and Hajime struggled to explain. “I, uh, it’s just that, I already ate.”

Hajime cleared his throat. “Sure,” Kindaichi nodded once, then nodded again before reapplying his smile. “No problem. I understand.” He started the car and Hajime breathed an inward sigh of relief.

“So, how’s that client of yours going?” Kindaichi asked. Hajime shrugged, watching as Kindaichi drove onto the highway. “Kunimi told me that it was kind of a tough case.”

Hajime scoffed, crossing his arms. “You’re telling me,” He muttered, shaking his head. “Remember that one client, who disagreed with absolutely everything we had to say and could never meet deadlines, and then blamed us when his story didn’t pick up immediately?”

Kindaichi glanced over at Hajime, a pitiful expression on his face. “That bad, huh?”

“Worse,” Hajime shook his head, sighing. “But it’s fine. We’ll get through somehow.”

“That’s what I admire most about you, Iwaizumi-san.” Kindaichi blurted, then blushed as Hajime stared at him. “I know it’s weird, but I like your perseverance, you know? You get the toughest cases that nobody ever wants, but you get them done anyway.” Kindaichi flickered his gaze over at Hajime, to see if he was still looking at him. He was. “It inspires me to do more, be better.”

Hajime shrugged. “Well, I guess.” He muttered, turning to look out of the window. “I mean, resilience is important in the work environment, and I’m only like this because of years of experience.” He leaned his head against the glass. “I’m not that exceptional.”

“You are to me,” Hajime whipped his head around to see Kindaichi smiling at him. He looked away. “Well, we’re here.” Kindaichi undid his seatbelt and stepped out of the car. “I’m going to get us some programs. Do you want to look around? We can meet back here at around,” Kindaichi glanced at his watch. “Seven thirty?”

Hajime looked down at his phone. That gave him fifteen minutes of alone time. “Yeah, sure. I’ll go into the hall early, maybe save us some good seats?”

 _That was my second mistake. I should have gone with him to get the programs_  

Kindaichi grinned. “Yeah, good idea.”

_It wasn’t, really. It led me closer to **him**._

Hajime nodded again, before heading for the doors into the main hall. The play must have been good, because there were crowds of people — mostly girls, for some reason — swarmed around the main entrance.

Hoping for a closer look, Hajime pushed his way closer, walking towards the giant poster advertising the play. He hadn’t really had time to check out what the play was about, so he figured the poster might give him some insight.

 _‘When the stars are in alignment,’_ Iwaizumi read. _‘A play about a young man who hopes to reunite with his lover again someday, despite the harsh reality.’_

Frowning, Hajime crossed his arms. That was great. Not only was the play two and a half hours long, it was a fucking romance, too. His least favourite.

He stared hard at the picture.  _Oikawa Tooru as Richard Parker, the main character._ He'd sworn he'd seen that name before, but he couldn't remember where, and it was killing him.  _Oikawa Tooru_. Who was he?

_He was the biggest mistake you'd ever make. You'd do well to not know him._

 “Hey,” Hajime turned around to see Kindaichi with two brochures. He took one. “It's a cool poster, no? 

“I guess,” Hajime look at the picture. The illustration was of a man holding a girl in his arms, with the stars twinkling above them. He would’ve found it pretty if he didn’t know the backstory behind it. “Which one’s your cousin?”

“The girl,” Kindaichi tapped the woman in the picture. “She’s super pumped about this play, she called it her ‘big break’. 

Hajime pointed at a gaggle of screaming fangirls beside them. “I’m guessing they’re all here to see her? 

Kindaichi laughed and shook his head. “No, no, they’re here to see Oikawa Tooru.” He tapped the man in the picture. “He plays lead role, and is quite the looker.”

_‘Quite the looker’. What an understatement._

“Is that so?” Hajime raised an eyebrow. Kindaichi nodded.

“Yeah, and it really bugs my cousin.” Kindaichi shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. “Says he steals her limelight, you know? These fans scream all the way through her lines and then go pin-drop silent when he speaks.”

“I hate him already,” Hajime stated, and Kindaichi broke out into a grin.

“My cousin would be so proud,” He assured him, and Hajime laughed feebly.

 _It was a lie. I could never hate Oikawa Tooru._

“Should we get our seats now?” Hajime suggested, as Kindaichi looked up from reading the brochure. “The show’s starting soon, and if we want to hear your cousin over the hoards of fangirls, I suggest we find someplace close to the stage.”

_I tried. I really did. I tried so hard._

“Sure!” Kindaichi chirped, closing his brochure. “Is it okay if I head to the toilet first? 

_But you can’t hate someone you can’t live without. You can’t hate someone who is a part of you. Whom without, life had no meaning._

“No problem,” Hajime nodded. “Call me if you can’t find me. Oh, and,” Kindaichi looked up at him eagerly. Hajime looked away. “Don’t take too long, okay? I don’t — I don’t know anyone here.”

Kindaichi’s eyes shone. “Don’t worry, Iwaizumi-san.” He flashed Hajime a grin. “I’m sure you’ll meet someone.”

_How did he know?_

_How could he tell so soon, when I had no clue?_

_Then again, it was right in front of my eyes._

_I was just too blind to see it, I suppose._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru raised an eyebrow. “Hajime-chan, don’t you feel like it was destiny that brought us together here?”
> 
> Hajime shrugged. “Not really. Just my bladder and your alcoholic tendencies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two @ ur service woo!
> 
> i hope u enjoy!

_When you stepped out, the screams were deafeningly loud._

_The girls next to us, they went wild. They were crying, I think. Tears streaking down their cheeks, cheap mascara running._

_“Oh my God, he looked at me!” One of them squealed, breath hot and heavy in my ear. “Oikawa Tooru looked at me!”_

_But you didn’t look at her then, and you won’t look at her now._

_You won’t look at anyone now._

_\-----------_

“Woah,” Hajime winced, sticking a finger in his ear. “You really weren’t exaggerating about all the screaming, huh?”

Kindaichi nodded apologetically. “I wish I had been,” He sighed. Well, not really, because he had to yell to be heard over all the squeals. “And this is just the beginning. Oikawa-san hasn’t even started speaking yet.”

_Consider it a blessing. Nothing good ever came out of his mouth._

“Marie!” Oikawa — dressed as Richard Parker — had tears running down his milky white face, his hair tousled in a way that Hajime could describe in no way other than ‘beautiful bedhead’. The pain and longing in that one word felt so real to Hajime, he couldn’t help but believe that Richard Parker was a real person. “My love, where are you?”

_Cunning as a fox, he was. But nothing good ever came out of his mouth._

“Madoka-chan!” Kindaichi yelled, as a woman with flowing pink robes walked on stage. Her strides were long and deliberate, and she could’ve owned the stage, if not for Oikawa.

_It was always his fault, yet never his fault. Nothing good ever came out of his mouth._

“Richard!” Madoka — or rather, Marie — yelled, her face twisted woefully. “Forgive me, my love, for it can’t be helped!”

“What?” Richard/Oikawa yelled. He met eyes with Hajime, and Hajime felt a chill run down his spine as he saw the pain in the other man’s eyes. He longed for nothing more than to clamber onto stage and help Oikawa. “What can’t be helped?”

Hajime shook his head. This was just a play. He couldn’t let it get to his head.

_I didn’t intend for it to get this bad. No one did. But nothing good ever came out of his mouth._

“Forgive me!” Marie/Madoka screamed, before a smoke screen appeared and she was forcefully led off stage.

“Marie!” Oikawa fell to his knees, sobbing violently. Just as Kunimi predicted, the hall fell silent. Hajime closed his eyes, and let the sound of Oikawa in pain flow through his ears.

He knew it was acting. He knew it. But, _damn,_ it all felt so _real_.

_Eventually, I got used to the sound of him in pain. It was all I heard._

_Sobs, screams, pain._

_Nothing good ever came out of his mouth._

_\-----------_

“That was amazing!” Kindaichi gushed, as they walked out of the theater. Hajime nodded, still in a daze.

The play was beyond words. He’d never _seen_ anything like it before. Richard Parker — Oikawa’s character — felt so hauntingly real. Not to mention, Kindaichi’s cousin did an amazing job too, but Hajime was starting to see why all the girls favoured him over Madoka. Oikawa had pure _talent._

“So,” Kindaichi stopped outside of the auditorium and stared at his shoes. “There’s, uh, something I should probably tell you.”

Hajime raised an eyebrow. “Go on,”

“About the tickets,” Kindaichi began. “I-I didn’t ask anyone else before you to join me. You were the first person I asked.”

“Um, okay.” Hajime shrugged. Was that small a lie eating him alive? “I don’t mind.”

Kindaichi shot his head up. “I’m not _done_ yet, Iwaizumi-san.” He took a deep breath. “I was hoping, well…”

“What?” Hajime’s patience was wearing thin. “What is it?”

“I was hoping this could be a date?”

“ _What_?” Hajime snapped, and took three steps back. “Are you serious?”

“Is it that hard to believe?” Kindaichi yelled, dropping his head in his hands. “I’ve liked you for ages, Iwaizumi-san, I’m surprised you couldn’t tell.”

Hajime shook his head. “That’s —“ He turned around, hoping to find an exit, when his eyes fell on the ‘Men’s’ sign. “I’m going to the bathroom.” He took a look at Kindaichi’s wounded face and swallowed. “And _don’t_ come after me.”

“Iwaizumi-san, I—“ But Hajime wasn’t listening anymore. He threw himself into the crowd and let it swallow him whole. How could he have been so _naïve_? Makki had told him, Makki had _said_ this would happen, but dumb, dumbass Hajime didn’t believe him.

Finally reaching the Men’s room, Hajime walked to a sink and splashed the cold water on his face, taking a deep breath to calm him down. Gathering courage, he lifted his head and took a look at himself in the mirror.

“You idiot!” He yelled, slamming his fist against the smooth porcelain. His fingers throbbed, but he could care less. “How could you have been so _stupid_?”

_You should have stayed with him. Should’ve never opened your mouth._

Hajime took a few more deep breaths, and let his head hang limp. He was so out of it, he didn’t hear the sound of footsteps entering the bathroom.

_You should’ve stayed with him. Should’ve never left._

He turned to see the red-eyed face of Oikawa Tooru, lead actor of the play. Suddenly, Hajime felt insecure about all the yelling and slamming of fists, because this guy was a _professional_. He had to step up his game.

“Sorry about that,” Hajime muttered, but he didn’t make eye contact. Oikawa laughed.

“About what?” He walked closer to Hajime, and just as the raven-haired man looked up, Oikawa wrapped his fingers around his neck, and pulled him closer until their noses were practically touching. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, _dear_.”

Oikawa’s breath reeked of alcohol. Hajime tried to push him away, but the man had a steel claw. “Let go of me!”’

_You should’ve stayed with him. Should’ve never opened your mouth._

Laughing, Oikawa released him, stepping back. It was only then that Hajime saw the half-empty bottle in his left hand, and tie in the other. His hair was tousled, and eyes glittered with some unknown energy.

_He was unpredictable like that. Should’ve never opened your mouth._

“Did you know I went through that _entire_ play drunk?” Oikawa hiccupped. He laughed again, shaking his head. Hajime glared at him.

“That’s very unprofessional of you, Oikawa-san.” Hajime deadpanned. He wasn’t prepared for this. Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one and placing into his mouth.

“I thought we were past formalities, sweetheart.” He winked, and took the cigarette from Hajime’s mouth. “Call me Tooru, I insist.” He laughed again, and placed the cigarette in his mouth, ash falling to the floor.

“That was mine.” Hajime grumbled, and Tooru grinned.

“Possessive, much?” He laughed smoke onto Hajime’s face, and let his finger rest on the other boy’s chin. “Pretty boy, you never told me your name.”

 _Pretty boy?_ “It’s Iwaizumi Hajime,” Hajime snapped, slapping the hand away from his face. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Any of my business?” Tooru raised an eyebrow. “Hajime-chan, don’t you feel like it was _destiny_ that brought us together here?”

Hajime shrugged. “Not really. Just my bladder and your alcoholic tendencies.” Tooru laughed.

“Well you’re _wrong_ ,” On that last word, Tooru leaned in so that Hajime could feel his hot breath on his face again. “I like you, Hajime-chan. I like you a _lot_.”

“That’s cute,” Hajime deadpanned, and looked away. Tooru frowned.

“Don’t look away, pretty boy.” He held Hajime’s face in his index finger and thumb and pointed it toward himself. “No one looks away from Oikawa Tooru.”

_He was right. I could never take my eyes off him, the handsome bastard._

Hajime opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by the sound of the toilet door swinging open. A man with ash-blonde hair entered, rage written all over his otherwise delicate features.

“Tooru!” He yelled, pulling him away from Hajime. “Daichi and I have been looking for you for ages! What the hell were you doing?”

Tooru rolled his eyes into the back of his head. “Oh, fuck me, Suga.” He spat. “You couldn’t care less; this is just part of your job.”

The man — Suga, Hajime assumed — glared hard at Tooru. “You’re lucky you’re talented, Tooru. Otherwise the agency would have long dropped you by now.”

Tooru shrugged. “What’s stopping them?”

Suga turned to Hajime. “Listen, I’m so sorry about all this. Tooru — he gets lost a lot. If you would like to come with us backstage, we could compensate you for all the trouble?”

Hajime hesitated. Kindaichi was still out there waiting for him. But he couldn’t really face him now, and it would be awkward to find him still there, waiting for Hajime. He swallowed. “Sure. Which way do we go?”

_You fool, you idiot, you imbecile._

_You should have never said yes._

_This was only part of his plan. You walked straight into it._

_Should’ve never opened your mouth._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oOoh going backstage ;))
> 
> kudos and comments are greatly appreciated <3
> 
> if you would like to fangirl over iwa chan's biceps, hmu on twitter @pastelhajime
> 
> ily & have a great day!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t get it.” Hajime whispered. Maybe he was yelling. He couldn’t tell the difference anymore. Tooru took another drink. “What are we seeing here?”
> 
> “The stars,” Tooru gushed, his eyes twinkling like the alleged stars themselves. “They’re putting on a display, just for us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side of daisuga in this chapter bc its impossible to have a chapter without mom & dad am i right??
> 
> im really getting into this fic,, i hope u guys are liking this as much as i am!!
> 
> ily all!

The second Hajime stepped in, he wanted to leave his job and become an actor because  _damn_ backstage looked good.  

"Sorry it's a mess, we haven't had time to clean up yet." Suga flashed a grin at Hajime, who nodded. "But please, make yourself at home."

" _Suga_ ," Tooru whined, flopping onto a chair. "When can we leave?" 

Suga glared at Tooru, who rolled his eyes. "Thanks to your little... _adventure_ ,"  Suga glanced at Hajime, who looked away sheepishly. "We had to ask the limo service to wait, and now that it's rush hour, they're going to take even longer to get here."

"Aw, don't get mad, Suga." Tooru leaned over and pinched Suga's cheeks, before the grey haired manager slapped his hand away. "Anger doesn't suit you."

"I didn't ask for your opinion, Tooru." Suga huffed. Just then, the door opened and a man walked in, with black hair and a stern look that made Hajime want to cry. 

"Is he here?" The man asked, with wide brown eyes. Probably fear, Hajime guessed. "Did he come back?"

Suga walked over to the man and pressed a soft kiss to the man's cheek. The man visibly calmed down, but the worry in his eyes didn't completely diminish. "I found him in the bathroom again," Suga murmured, shaking his head before pressing it into the other man's chest. "He was drinking."

The man's head whipped up. "Dammit, Tooru, again?" He shook his head, rubbing his hand through Suga's hair. "You practically gave Suga here a heart attack."

Tooru waved him off. "Oh, please." He scoffed, before winking at Hajime. "Besides, if I didn't go, I wouldn't have met our lovely Hajime-chan here, hmm?"

It was then Hajime realised that he hadn't introduced himself. "Iwaizumi Hajime," He shot his hand out to the man. "I really liked the play."

The man smiled and took Hajime's hand. "Sawamura Daichi, but you can call me Daichi. I'm in charge of Tooru's security, while Suga here — Sugawara Koushi — is his manager." 

"Nice to meet you," Suga mumbled from Daichi's shirt. Daichi laughed. 

"Suga isn't usually like this. He's normally quite a cheery guy, I promise." Daichi grinned and pressed a kiss to Suga's forehead. 

"I understand," Hajime nodded knowingly. "Working to take care of Tooru sure must be tiresome."

Suga peeped out from his hiding spot. "You're telling me? This man has been missing 14 times now, and that was just this month!"

"There," Daichi smoothed down Suga's hair, and whispered softly in his ear. "Take a few deep breaths, okay?"

"Hey, Hajime!" Tooru grinned, in a way that reminded Hajime of the Joker. "Got any more ciggies?"

"No way, man." Daichi shook his head. "You know the rules. No smokes backstage."

"They also said no asshats backstage, yet here you are." Tooru deadpanned, eyes dull and glazed over. Hajime wondered if he was high. 

"Tooru, stop being a jerk." Hajime chastised, and Tooru rolled his eyes. 

"Hajime, are you my mom?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. His eyes glinted mischievously, allowing an uneasy feeling to settle in his stomach. 

_That never changed. I never did like the way he looked at me._

"No, I'm a decent human being who learned manners in preschool." Hajime spat. He turned to Daichi. "Is he always like this?"

_He looked at me like he was going to attack me. He looked at me the way predators do before they eat their prey._

Daichi laughed. "Only on good days." He shook his head sadly and wrapped his arms around Suga's waist, kissing his hair. "You're lucky to catch the best of it, Iwaizumi-san."

_He was right. But then again, I'm surprised he knew. He hadn't seen the worst of it._

"Oh, please, Iwaizumi is enough." Hajime insisted. "And honestly, I admire you guys for keeping up with him for so long."

"I like this kid," Daichi grinned down at Suga, who turned to face Hajime. "This one of his recruits?"

Hajime frowned. "Recruits?"

Suga nodded. "Since Tooru likes to get his own way, I've allowed him to pick one new person each month to join our team and manage him." He explained. "Usually, they're all drunkards, and they all think they get to join a hookup."

"Hey," Tooru snapped blearily. "Don't diss drunk people, for drunk people have  _lived_."

Suga rolled his eyes. "Whatever," He turned to Daichi. "No, he's not a recruit. I found him being practically attacked by Tooru in the Men's." He tilted his head to the side, thoughtful. "Although, he would make a good member of our team."

Hajime didn't get what they were hinting at for a while, but when he did, he shut the idea down immediately. "Uh, no thanks." He insisted. "It's a kind offer, really, but I've got my own work and it's going good."

"Mind if I ask what you do?" Daichi asked. Hajime shook his head. 

"I'm an editor for a local publishing company," He answered. "It's small and not that well known, but the pay's good, I guess."

Suga sighed mournfully. "All the good ones either were misled or have good jobs." He whined. "It's not fair!"

Hajime crossed his arms defensively. "I wasn't misled. I can make my own decisions."

Suga nodded in agreement. "I know, you're the latter." He stared at Hajime with hopeful eyes. "Are you sure you don't want to join us?"

"Oh, I'm sure." Hajime scoffed. "I'm not exactly cut out for show business. Managing Tooru would definitely hurt my health."

"I'm doing it, and I'm fine!" Suga pleaded. Hajime shook his head. 

"You're not fine, you're just holding on. Barely." Hajime pointed. Daichi nodded. 

"Gotta agree with him on that," Daichi admitted. "Tooru wears you thin, baby."

Suga sighed again. "Worth a shot," He quickly applied a professional smile. "Well, I hope you stick around, Iwaizumi. Tooru could use someone like you."

_I didn’t really have a choice, with that boy. I was stuck with him, whether I liked it or not._

“I feel like I’m stuck here, whether I like it or not.” Hajime laughed, and Suga smiled. “Well, it was nice meeting you.”

_You were so calm at first. It was like you couldn’t sense what was coming._

“And you,” Daichi answered for the both of them. He made a pained expression. “Actually, could you do Suga and I a favour?”

Hajime nodded eagerly. “Sure. What’s up?"

Daichi looked away, embarrassed, and Suga buried his head in the former’s chest again. “The thing is, I haven’t seen Suga all _day_ , and I —“

“I got it. No details needed.” Hajime raised his hands in defeat. “You two, go have fun, I guess."

Daichi broke out into a grin and wrapped his arms around Suga tightly. “Thank you so much, man. We’ll be right back, I promise.” He looked like he needed to say more, but Suga was pulling him by the collar, and so he had no choice but to follow him, gently closing the door behind him.

“Hajime,” Tooru pointed to the ceiling, his voice a soft whisper. He patted the couch he was laying on, and Hajime gingerly lay down beside him. “Look.”

The raven-haired boy stared at the ceiling. “What are we looking at?”

“Shh,” Tooru pressed a lean finger to Hajime’s lips, silencing him. Hajime couldn’t help but notice how cold they were, freezing his skin in place like ice. “Don’t you see them?”

Hajime shook his head. “No,” He muttered against Tooru’s finger, making the other boy sigh.

“That’s the problem with you people,” He took his hand away and took a swig from his bottle. _What sort of people are we?,_ Hajime wanted to ask, but he didn’t say a word. “You don’t look with your mind.”

“I don’t get it.” Hajime whispered. Maybe he was yelling. He couldn’t tell the difference anymore. Tooru took another drink. “What are we seeing here?”

“The stars,” Tooru gushed, his eyes twinkling like the alleged stars themselves. “They’re putting on a display, just for us.”

“Is that so?” In the end, Hajime decided it was best to just go along with Tooru. Tooru nodded.

“They’re rooting for us, Hajime.” Tooru announced. He closed his eyes. “They think we can do it. Nice of them, isn’t it?”

“Think we can do what?” But Tooru was unconscious now, unaware to the rest of the world. His chest rose up and down with every breath, and he looked peaceful; like he had reached enlightenment.

Hajime looked back up at the ceiling. He still couldn’t see the stars, but it was nice to think they really were putting on a show for them, even if they weren’t. Because, let’s face it, the stars didn’t even _know_  them.

_Don’t underestimate the power of the stars. They’re what brought us apart and what drove us away._

Pulling out his phone, Hajime scrolled through his contacts before stopping at a number.

**To: Kindaichi (1)**

_something came up, and i wont be able to make it back tonight. head back without me._

Then, Hajime turned his phone off and put it back in his pocket, closing his eyes. Tooru was troublesome, sure, but he was the sort of the troublesome that was worth suffering for.

He could deal with it.

_This was the honeymoon phase._

_Everything was beautiful then. We were untouchable then._

_How did it fall apart so fast?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cute!!!!
> 
> this is really fun to write omg i love this
> 
> comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!! come talk iwaoi & other gay ships to me on twitter: @pastelhajime
> 
> ily all have a great day!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru shook his head, sighing. “Expected nothing less from a realist.”
> 
> “A realist?” Tooru had his attention now.
> 
> “A realist,” Tooru grinned wickedly. “Someone who can’t see past the caged reality.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im still alive whaddya know?
> 
> this is a long chapter,, and im still not happy with it BUT i needed to post something so,,
> 
> enjoy!! and dont forget to leave kudos & comments!!
> 
> twitter if u wanna talk: pastelhajime
> 
> ily all,, have a good day <3

_Tooru. It means ‘transparent’, or see through._

_Yet somehow, I could never see through him. I could never tell what he was thinking, what he wanted to say._

_But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe the truth was too much for me to handle._

\----------------

The next morning, Hajime woke up with a surprising warmth on his side and hot breath in his ear. It would have come off as seductive, if the hot breath was doing anything other than whining.

“Hajime,” The voice whispered, shaking his shoulders. Their finger curled around the edges of his frame, wrapping itself around so tight it almost hurt. “ _Hajime_. Wake up.”

“Go away,” Hajime opened his eyes a little to make out the bleary silhouette of the one and only Oikawa Tooru, whose presence he’d been graced with for a couple of hours now. “What time is it, even?”

“It’s the right time,” Tooru laughed, his breath tickling Hajime’s ear. “It’s when the world’s half-awake. Prime time to take advantage of what it has to offer.”

“I don’t care,” Hajime huffed, placing his forearm over his eyes. “I’m tired. I could give half a rat’s ass about what the world has to offer.”

“Ah, but that’s still something, isn’t it?” Hajime removed his arm to only be met by Tooru’s twinkling eyes, instantly teleporting him to last night. Tooru stretched a hand towards him. “Now get up, you’re awake anyway.”

“Yeah, thanks to you.” Hajime scoffed, but took the hand. Rubbing his eyes, he watched as Tooru began rifling through the room, eyes brightening at a small leather wallet on the table in front of them. “Is that yours?”

“Does it matter?” Tooru asked, pulling a couple of bills out of it. Hajime paled instantly when he saw the small ‘100’s on the front of the bills. “It’s all the same when it’s spent.”

“It does matter, actually.” Hajime got up and put his coat on. “It’s called stealing and is a national felony.”

Tooru grinned. “Goody, goody, Hajime.” He leered, and Hajime scowled at the floor. “Relax, this is only Suga’s. He won’t mind.”

Hajime instantly thought of the stressed grey haired man, the wrinkles already forming on his smooth forehead. Then he thought about Daichi, trying his best to calm the other man down, but failing nonetheless. “Are you sure? He seemed pretty stressed and mad at you, Tooru.”

“Oh, please.” Tooru waved him off. “Suga cares about me, really. He just wants to see me happy.” He placed the bills in his pockets and gave Hajime an expectant look. “Now, are you coming or not?”

“This is wrong,” Hajime mumbled, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t be stealing from your manager, not when he needs it most.”

“Hajime, Hajime, listen to me.” Tooru walked over to the other man and placed both hands on his cheeks. “Suga is _fine_. Stop stressing so much.”

Hajime looked away. “I-I don’t know.” Tooru sighed.

“Look, if it bothers you that much, I’ll pay him back, okay?” Tooru shook his head. “Honestly, we’re wasting so much time.”

Hajime figured that would be okay, seeing that Tooru definitely had enough money to pay him back. “Fine,” He let Tooru take his hand. “Where are we going?”

Tooru flashed him a mischievous grin. “The question is; where _aren’t_ we?”

\--------

“Tooru, we’ve been walking for _miles_ ,” Hajime complained, and it was true. When they’d left, it’d been a little before six in the morning, with the pinkish glow of the sun stretching it’s spidery fingers across the sky. Now, it couldn’t be past noon, with the sun bearing its heat down on them with full force. “How long does this stupid adventure of yours take?”

“Hajime, stop whining.” Tooru muttered, eyes taking in the surroundings. Even from behind him, Hajime could tell that Tooru wasn’t paying any attention to him. “We’re almost there, now.”

_He did that sometimes. He never listened to what I had to say._

“You said that an hour ago! Tooru—“ Hajime paused, taking a moment to wipe the beads of sweat trickling down the nape of his neck. “Where are we going? Suga and Daichi are probably up by now, and I don’t want to worry them.”

Tooru laughed humourlessly. “Hajime, please.” He waved him off, and Hajime frowned at the cracks on the side of the road. “We really are getting close now, I promise. And besides, I’ve got my phone on me. If they need me, they can call.”

Hajime frowned. “That’s not right. It’s not their job to keep on pestering you on where you are. You’re a grown man, for Christ’s sake.”

“Technically, it is.” Tooru commented, and Hajime rolled his eyes. “Also, they’ll know I’m with you, so they won’t mind. Stop worrying.”

Hajime opened his mouth to argue when Tooru suddenly stopped. “What is it? Are we lost?”

“Have some faith in me, Hajime.” Tooru whined. “We’re here!”

_He was always like that. He never cared about the ones who cared about him but craved their affection nonetheless. And we’d give it to him anyway, us idiots._

“Here,” Hajime repeated, staring at their destination. It was a lot more disappointing than the venue he’d imagined, with only two park benches and a small, old, wishing well. He kicked a pebble. “What exactly _is_ here?”

Tooru leaned over and pinched Hajime’s cheek. “You’re so cute, Hajime.” He cooed, and took no notice to the way Hajime went bright red. “This is the famed well of Baku.”

“The dream eater,” Hajime remembered, frowning. “Why are we here?”

“To get rid of bad dreams, of course.” Tooru reached into his pockets and pulled out the money he took from Suga’s wallet and handed a wad of hundred-yen bills to Hajime. “Here, take this.”

Hajime stared at the money as Tooru put the rest of the money in his pocket. “What’s all this for, Tooru?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never visited a wishing well, Hajime.” Tooru huffed, raising an eyebrow. “You do know how it works, right?”

“Well, obviously.” Hajime crossed his arms defensively. “But you usually only put in spare change, not hundreds of yen.”

“That’s only when you don’t mean it.” Hajime still wasn’t used to the twinkle in Tooru’s eyes; something gave him bad vibes. “You do want good dreams, right, Hajime?”

Hajime shrugged. “I guess, sure. But it’s not something I’m going spend hundreds of yen on.”

“Fair enough,” Tooru shook his head, sighing. “Expected nothing less from a realist.”

“A realist?” Tooru had his attention now.

“A realist,” Tooru grinned wickedly. “Someone who can’t see past the caged reality.”

Hajime raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Then what are you?”

With one swift motion, Tooru threw his entire stash into the well, falling into the water with a solid _plop!_. “A dreamer,” He smiled, blowing hair out of his eyes. “Someone who can see past it all.”

Hajime scoffed. “More like desperate.”

“No, there’s a difference.” Tooru bent down and began searching through the grass for something. “Desperation is when you feel the need to see past it, while a dreamer already can.”

‘Wow,” Hajime deadpanned. “What a skill. You must be so lucky.”

Tooru laughed. “Don’t I know it,” He plucked something from the grass and tucked it behind his ear. “A four-leaf clover, for good luck.”

Hajime shook his head and put his hands in his pockets. “Well, that’s great and all, but can we head back yet?”

“Not yet,” Tooru began leafing through the grass again, tongue sticking out of his mouth due to the concentration. “I need to find you one, too, since you’re not paying.”

“Tooru,” Hajime began. “You do realise that this money is eventually going to be taken by some old man who makes his monthly income through this well, and won’t actually be sent to Baku?”

Tooru shrugged. “I know. But it’s the thought that counts.” He plucked another clover and gave it to Hajime. “Here.”

Hajime stared at it. “I’m not putting this behind my ear, Tooru.”

“Then just keep it,” Tooru gave him a real, honest, smile. “Who knows when you’ll need it?”

_He could read me like a book, that boy. But I could barely even tell the colour of his eyes._

Watching him with uneasy eyes, Hajime put the clover in his wallet, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

“Well you better,” Tooru began walking away. “Because we’re just getting started.”

\-----------

“So,” Hajime asked, putting his hands in his pockets. “Where are we heading next?”

“Well, we were going to head back, but you still have your money, so I guess we could spend it.” Tooru shrugged, crossing his arms. He leaned against one of the rickety posts of the abandoned bus stop they were at.

Hajime sighed. “Just because we have money, doesn’t mean we have to spend it all.”

“I know that,” Tooru laughed. He took the clover out from behind his ear and looked at it. “But we’re all the way out here, so we may as well do something we the money.” He looked up at Hajime. “How about lunch?”

Hajime shrugged. It was getting pretty late, and while Suga and Daichi may have been worried, they hadn’t sent out a search party yet, so he figured they were good on time. “Sure,” He finally answered. “Where do you suggest?”

Tooru smiled like the Cheshire cat. “I know just the place.”

\---------

“An _opium_ den?” Hajime stared at the giant board in front of him that read, ‘ _Cherry Blossom Opium Den’_. “That’s not lunch, Tooru, that’s drugs!”

Tooru rolled his eyes. “Hajime, can you stop being boring for like, two seconds? For me?”

“There is nothing you can say to convince me to go in there.” Hajime crossed his arms defiantly. “And that’s that.”

“Fine,” Tooru stuck his hands in his pockets and sighed. “I thought we could have a fun day but _someone_ has other plans.”

“Don’t start this now, Tooru.” Hajime sighed, letting his arms drop to his sides. “I’m not in the mood for this.”

_I never was. But little did he care._

“In the mood for what?” Tooru giggled and swayed forward, breath tickling Hajime’s chin. Hajime looked away, red, and Tooru laughed out loud then, eyes crinkling in the corners.

“Shut up,” Hajime muttered. “Have you been drinking?”

“If the juice is life, then yes, I have.” Tooru proclaimed. He turned his head, hair scraping Hajime’s cheek, and leant forward so that his lips were dangerously close to the other boy’s. “Haven’t you?"

Hajime stared at Tooru. His eyes flickered over the taller boy’s curly brown hair, every strand holding themself as if they were the most important things in the world. Underneath them lay his eyes, pools of chocolate, so deep that no one had ever seen the end. His nose, small and round, yet so poignant, always sneering down on Hajime. And his lips, pink and heart-shaped, and probably really soft, too. Hajime swallowed.

Shaking his head, he pushed the other boy away from him, hands hitting Tooru’s broad chest. “Suga’s waiting.” He mumbled, but kept his hands on the other boy’s chest. “He must be worried sick by now.”

_I hadn’t been drinking, Tooru._

_I hadn’t been drinking the juice of life until I met you._

_And then suddenly, my life revolved around bottles. Bottles made of fragile tinted glass._

_Bottles, just like you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick disclaimer: the cherry blossom opium den & the well of baku are not real things!! however, baku is a real god and quite interesting actually, so u can search him up if u want ig idk
> 
> twitter: pastelhajime
> 
> have a good day!! ily


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey," Suddenly, Tooru leaned in close to Hajime, breath hot and heavy in his ear. "I have an idea."
> 
> Hajime swallowed. "Yeah?"
> 
> "Yeah," Tooru was close enough that Hajime could hear him lick his lips in anticipation. He closed his eyes. "Let's play a game, Hajime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im alive!!
> 
> sorry i was gone for so long, but hopefully this chapter will make up for it (what happens is so important to the story!!!)
> 
> u can find me on twitter: pastelhajime
> 
> thanks for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos ❤️ love u all xx

_I should have stayed away._

_I should have never taken the next step. Never nodded when you asked me a question, never answered when you called for me._

_I should have stayed away, because now I can't even think for myself._

"Get out,"

"Suga-chan, if you would just listen—"

"No," Suga's eyes were red, and his hands were shaking. Daichi's arms were sturdy around him, but Suga was glaring at Tooru with anger so raw and pure that Hajime was surprised the room wasn't in flames yet. "You listen to me. You don't get to just leave and make Daichi and I fix this mess. That's not how it works."

Tooru rolled his eyes. "You're not my mom, Suga-chan. You can let me go sometimes, you know?"

"You don't get it, do you?" Suga laughed eerily, and a chill ran down Hajime's spine. "I don't let you go, because I actually care about you, Tooru. That's how it fucking works, when you care for someone!" Suga was yelling now, angry spittle flying everywhere. Daichi and Hajime shared a worried glance. "But I guess, you wouldn't know."

Hot, heavy silence enveloped the room. Hajime swallowed. "You are the one person who doesn't get to say stuff like that to me," Tooru whispered, his voice hoarse. He licked his lips.

"Tooru—"

"I heard you." Tooru turned on his heel sharply. "I'm leaving."

And with that, Tooru left the room, slamming the door behind him. Hajime stared at the floor, unsure of what to say.

"I can't believe—" A sob caught in Suga's throat. He buried his head in Daichi's chest, shoulders shaking as violent tremors raced through his body. Daichi kissed his head softly.

"It's okay," Daichi assured him, voice low and soothing. "It's okay, Suga. He'll realise soon enough, okay? It'll be okay."

_But those were just pretty words. Pretty words to make it seem better._

Hajime bit his lip. "I'll go after Tooru."

\---------

"What would you say—" Tooru paused, hiccuping and raising the familiar translucent green bottle to the sky. "—if I asked you to pick between no hair or no eyebrows?"

Hajime's brow furrowed instinctively. "That's dumb." He snapped, crossing his arms. "I'd obviously pick no hair."

It had been about three hours since Hajime found Tooru in the local bar, ordering a tall, thin bottle of beer. Since then, Hajime had texted Suga to let him know where Tooru was (because he really didn't need all that happening again) and stayed with the brunet to make sure he didn't get in any trouble.

"It's not dumb, Hajime-chan." Tooru pouted, bringing the bottle back to his lips. "You're just no fun, that's all."

Hajime rolled his eyes as Tooru stuck his tongue out and laughed. "Shut up, Tooru."

"Hey," Suddenly, Tooru leaned in close to Hajime, breath hot and heavy in his ear. "I have an idea."

Hajime swallowed. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Tooru was close enough that Hajime could hear him lick his lips in anticipation. He closed his eyes. "Let's play a game, Hajime."

_Don't play games with liars and cheats. Don't play games with Oikawa Tooru._

"What game?" Hajime asked, reopening his eyes as Tooru distanced himself. The taller boy grinned devilishly.

"Wouldn't you like to know," He laughed, taking another sip from his bottle. "You'll just have to figure it out as we go along."

Hajime rolled his eyes, and fished in his pockets for a cigarette. Lighting it, he lazily blew a smoke circle at the ceiling. "Do whatever, I don't care."

_That was a lie, and you knew it. You knew you'd go along anyway._

"Don't be such a spoilsport, Hajime." The mentioned man looked down at his arm, only to see Tooru latched on to it. Hajime grimaced, as if he were a pest that he couldn't get rid of.

_He was a pest. He'd find his way back no matter what._

"I'm not." Hajime turned so he wouldn't blow smoke in Tooru's face. "I'm just bored."

"Bored?" Tooru's eyes perked up at the word. His grin grew wider, and the distance between the two men grew smaller. "I can work with bored."

Hajime raised an eyebrow, bringing the cigarette back to his lips. "Is that so?"

Tooru took his hands off Hajime's arm and distanced himself. He ran a hand through his hair and took a sip from his bottle, this time downing the entirety of its contents. Finished, he licked his lips and looked back at Hajime, a black haze clouding his eyes. "Close your eyes, Hajime."

Hajime blew another smoke ring, before taking a deep drag of the cigarette. He needed it; to keep him sane. "Why?"

"Just do it," Tooru murmured, voice low and dangerous. The tone of it sent chills down Hajime's spine. "Don't argue with me, Hajime."

_He was right. Don't talk back to him, just walk away._

"And what if I do?" Hajime decided to play along with this game, leaning in towards Tooru. Tooru smiled.

He brought his hands to Hajime's eyelids and gently pushed them closed. "Work with me, Hajime." Laughing softly, he removed his hands, trusting Hajime to stay in that position. "It's all I ask."

_Of course I'd stay in that position. With Tooru, I had no choice._

"That's a lie. You ask for a hell lot more than just to work—" But he was cut off with a pair of lips against his.

_Pull away, Hajime._

Hajime's first thought was: it's wet. Tooru's lips were practically drenched, what with the alcohol and all the licking of his lips. Not to mention, Tooru was a very forceful kisser, and Hajime could feel him pushing against his own chapped lips.

_Pull away, Hajime. Pull away when you still can._

Opening his eyes, Hajime was welcomed with the eyelids of the one and only Oikawa Tooru, the world famous actor who, quite frankly, had the best eyelashes he'd ever seen.

_Pull away, Hajime, Pull away, it's a trap._

Something changed then. Suddenly, Tooru wasn't as forceful as before, instead working his lips so that they were in time with Hajime's own. He brought his deathly pale, ridiculously slender fingers to Hajime's neck, interlocking them so that Hajime couldn't move, even if he wanted to.

_Pull away, Hajime. Pull away, don't you see what he's planning?_

Soon enough, Hajime lost himself in the kiss, wrapping his arms around the taller boy's waist, because something had changed. Tooru was willing, was relenting, was his, even if only for a little while. And there was something else, something underneath the layers of alcohol and self-confidence, that Hajime wanted to see more of.

_Pull away, Hajime. Pull away, it's not worth it._

It was the real Tooru.

\---------

The sun had long set once either man considered going back.

Of course, there was the occasional "Shouldn't we be going?" and "Oh God, what's the time?", but they were all empty, lifeless questions with no actual answers to them.

Besides, both men were too engrossed in each other to look away. It was almost as if looking away hurt.

_Because it did, don't you get it?_

"Hajime," Tooru was sitting in Hajime's lap now, bottle long gone. The moon lit up his face, making it brighter than any star Hajime had ever seen. "What happens now?"

_Yes, Hajime. What happens now?_

They had been sitting here, like this, behind an abandoned building, kissing and touching each other, anything to let the other know they were there, with silent promises behind every one of them.

Hajime licked his lips. "You tell me."

Tooru looked straight behind Hajime, and while the older man knew that there was nothing behind him but a wall, the way that Tooru stared at it seemed to give it life, wonder, and magic all at once. "I-I don't know."

_That was a lie. He was a lie._

"I could say a lot of things, Tooru." Hajime dipped his eyes down, focusing on his lap instead of meeting Tooru's gaze. "I could say that after this, you and I are done. That we'll never see each other again."

Tooru inhaled sharply. "Don't say that."

_Let him go. Pull away, Hajime._

"Then I'll say, this is just the beginning. That you and I have a lot more coming our way." Hajime wrapped his arms around Tooru's waist. "But the truth is, I don't know what happens now, because if you told me three hours ago, that this would happen, I wouldn't have believed you. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Hajime," Tooru met Hajime's eyes. The brunet's eyes were glazed over and teary. "What happens now?"

_Don't answer him. Pull away, Hajime._

"You tell me, Tooru." Hajime looked back down.

Closing his eyes, Tooru tilted his head up and Hajime took the opportunity to kiss the other man's throat, relishing the low groan against his lips. "You tell me," Hajime repeated, moving down on his throat, reaching his collarbone. "I'll listen to you, Tooru. I'll play along with your games."

_Pull away, Hajime. Run far away._

Hajime bit down on Tooru's collarbone on that last word, making the brunet gasp in surprise. He looked down at the steadily growing purple bruise, eyes wide, before regaining his composure. "Hajime..."

The mentioned man looked up. "Yeah?"

Tooru looped his arms around Hajime's neck and sighed. "It's like you don't know what you're doing."

Hajime frowned, confused, but Tooru just laughed and closed the gap between them.

_He'll just answer you in riddles, this boy._

_Pull away, Hajime. Pull away when you still can._

_Pull away before you end up like me._

_Don't you get it?_

_Pull away, Hajime._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the car started to move, Hajime looked back at Tooru again. The sun was shining brighter than ever now, and the rays seemed to accentuate every part of the brunet's face—his long and thick eyelashes, his high, arched cheekbones, his small, button nose and his soft, round lips.
> 
> He was breathtaking, and he didn't even know it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to the number fuckers on twitter for being so supportive of this fic <3 ily guys
> 
> this is really melodramatic but i hope yall like it?? its sappy as well so get ur tissues uwu
> 
> dont forget to comment and leave kudos, and check out my twitter: pastelhajime
> 
> have a great day!!

_"Hajime—"_

_"T-Tooru—"_

_"You're mine."  
_

_"I-I—"_

_"Say it, Hajime."_

_"I'm all yours."_

_\------------_

The next morning, Hajime woke with a stiff pain in his joints. Stretching, he cracked his neck and sighed, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. The sun left soft yellow rays on his bare chest, warming it instantly.

He blinked and took in his surroundings once more. After him and Tooru had gotten back, Suga thanked him for keeping him safe, flipped out at the brunette for the umpteenth time, and sent them off to bed in a nearby hotel—kindly paid by Suga, of course.

A soft rustling noise was heard and Hajime turned to see Tooru shuffle in his sleeping position, before sighing softly. Hajime turned away.

Until he realised that, last night, Tooru was not in his roo—

"Oi!" Hajime threw a pillow at Tooru. "What are you doing here?"

Tooru rose from his position, slow and graceful, and Hajime felt the breath hitch in his throat. Yawning, the brunette brought his balled palms to his eyes and rubbed them, hair askew. "Hm?"

Hajime blinked. He'd been so caught up in Tooru he'd almost forgotten what he was trying to do.

_It's dangerous, being around this boy. It's dangerous to get too close._

"This isn't your room, dumbass." Hajime climbed out of bed and scanned the room for the remains of last night's clothing, slightly red at the fact that he was half naked with a mere acquaintance in the room. "What are you doing here?'

Tooru tilted his head to the side. "Didn't you hear the lightning last night, Hajime?"

Hajime frowned. "There was no lightning, Tooru."

A flicker of pain flew across Tooru's face, before his gaze fell to the crumpled sheets he'd been sleeping in. "Oh," He replied, trying to make his voice nonchalant and casual. Hajime tried not to notice it wavering. "It must have been a dream then."

_But Tooru didn't dream. You don't dream if you don't sleep._

The furrows in Hajime's brow deepened. "I don't care if you have a scary dream, you can't just come into my room in the middle of the night." Hajime finally found a shirt and put it on. "How did you even get in?"

For the first time that morning, Tooru smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes, Hajime realised. "Wouldn't you like to know,"

Hajime rolled his eyes, before walking across the room to open the curtains. Tooru hissed at the sudden exposure of light and buried his head in his arms. Hajime smiled. "Get up, lazy ass."

"Dumbass, lazy ass, I'm starting to think Hajime-chan has a fetish for a certain body part, no?" Tooru winked. Hajime sighed.

"You're gross, Tooru." Hajime rolled his eyes. "You're nasty."

_He really was. He was nasty, filthy, and unforgettable, that boy._

The mentioned boy raised his hands in a surrender-like stance. "Hey," He argued, "I'm not the one talking about asses and wearing someone else's shirt, but I'm still the gross one?"

Hajime frowned at Tooru's smiling face, before the realisation hit him and he looked down at his shirt. Or, to be precise, _not_ his shirt. He paled instantly. "I-I didn't know—"

Tooru got out of bed and shook his head, placing his finger on Hajime's lips. "It's okay, Hajime-chan." He gave Hajime a quick once-over. "You look good in it."

"S-Stop it, you weirdo!" Hajime snapped, flustered. He quickly flung it off and threw it across the room as Tooru laughed. "I said stop!"

"You know what," Tooru took a step closer to Hajime, and raised an eyebrow. He brought a finger to Hajime's chest, tracing the creases and dips in it mindlessly. "I think I like you better without the shirt, Hajime-chan."

Hajime turned even redder. "Shut up!" He half-heartedly gave Tooru a shove, which sent the other boy into a fit of giggles again. Hajime sighed. "You laugh like a five-year-old."

"And you have the vocabulary of one," Tooru regained his composure and offered Hajime a crooked smirk. "I guess that makes us even."

_He was wrong. We never even. I was always one step behind._

Hajime began searching for his own shirt. "That's not true," He retorted. "I'm an editor, so I'd say I have a decent vocabulary."

"Decent," Tooru shrugged innocently. "Five-year-olds have decent vocabulary too."

"Seriously," Hajime eventually found his shirt wedged between the cupboard doors. He put it on as fast as possible, still while glowering at Tooru. "If you don't shut up, I will  _make_ you. Permanently."

"Is that so?" Tooru raised an eyebrow and rested his chin in his palm. "And how are you going to pull that off, Hajime-chan?"

Hajime paused, realising what Tooru was implying. He instantly flashbacked to last night and swallowed. Tooru grinned.

"I thought so," Tooru sang. He walked closer to Hajime, singing louder with every step. "I was right, and Hajime was wrong, and now I'm gonna keep reminding him until—"

Tooru was cut off by the sudden press of lips against his own. His eyes doubled in size as Hajime gently worked his lips in time to Tooru's. But just as Tooru began to get comfortable and lean into the kiss, Hajime pulled away and wiped his lips on the back of his hand, eyes on the floor as Tooru's filled with wonder and admiration. 

"H-Hajime-chan—"

"I told you I'd shut you up, no?" Hajime swallowed slowly. "So I did."

Tooru couldn't help but break out into a grin. "You really did, Hajime."

_But it wasn't a good tactic. Because as usual, he'd win in the end._

Hajime rolled his eyes and threw Oikawa's shirt at him. "Just get out, Tooru."

"With pleasure," Tooru winked at him and left the room.

_And now, you were stuck._

\-------

Hajime had just gotten out of the shower when he heard three short knocks on the door. Frowning, he wrapped a towel around his waist and put a shirt on, puzzled as to who it could be. Swinging it open, the door opened to reveal—

"Hajime-chan!" The black haired boy groaned. Tooru. Of course. "Aw, don't look so sad, I came here just to see you!" Tooru pinched his cheek and let himself into the room.

"Am I supposed to be assured by that?" Hajime rubbed his cheek and shut the door, heading back into the room and looking for his pants. "I'm the only one in this room, Tooru."

"That makes it all the more special, yeah?" Tooru flopped against Hajime's hotel bed. "Oh, your bed is  _so_ much comfier than mine, Hajime-chan!"

Hajime zipped the flyer of his pants and gave Tooru a skeptical look. "It's just a bed, you know that, right?"

Tooru rolled his eyes. "I know, but it's much nicer than anything I've had!" He leaned back into the mattress and purred appreciatively. "It is to  _die_ for."

"Then why don't you?"

A sudden and heavy silence fell on the room then, and Hajime wanted to scream with all it's weight. The light in Tooru's eyes fizzled into a spark, before dying out completely. Hajime didn't know Tooru all that well, but he didn't think it would be such a pressing issue. He looked down.

"It was a joke, Tooru." Hajime muttered. "I-I don't actually want you to die."

Tooru sat up. "I'm not an idiot, Hajime-chan." He laughed, but there was no warmth in and no light has returned to his eyes. "I know it's a joke."

"Tooru, I—"

"I'm serious," He gave him a broken smile. "I'm fine. Now let's go. Suga's waiting."

_But he really, really wasn't fine. He wasn't fine at all._

"Okay," Hajime forced a smile as Tooru opened the door. "I'm glad you're feeling okay about this."

"Of course I am," Tooru's eyes glinted with some sort of energy that made Hajime uneasy. "Why wouldn't I?"

_You'd find out soon enough._

_\-------_

"Morning," Suga smiled warmly at the two boys when they appeared in the hotel lobby. Only Hajime smiled back; Tooru's eyes were fixed on the floor. "Did you guys sleep well?"

Hajime nodded and bowed. "Yes, thank you for paying for the hotel room."

Suga laughed. "No need to be so formal, it was my pleasure!" He gave the brunet a once over. "If only some of Iwaizumi-san's politeness rubbed off on you, huh?"

Tooru rolled his eyes. "Where's Daichi?"

"In the car," Suga beamed. "Now let's go."

The walk to the car was silent and uncomfortable and all the things it shouldn't have been. Hajime kept searching for the words to say, but they all failed him, and before he knew it, they'd reached the car. 

"Right," Suga clapped his hands once. "Daichi and I will be going in a seperate car, so I'll be leaving you two to catch up here, okay?"

Hajime looked over at Tooru, who was still looking at the ground. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, thanks."

"No problem," Suga watched as the two men entered the car before shutting the door behind them. "See you guys later!"

As the car started to move, Hajime looked back at Tooru again. The sun was shining brighter than ever now, and the rays seemed to accentuate every part of the brunet's face—his long and thick eyelashes, his high, arched cheekbones, his small, button nose and his soft, round lips.

He was breathtaking, and he didn't even know it.

"A picture will last longer, Hajime-chan." Tooru smirked. Hajime didn't even have time to feel annoyed by the comment, he was just happy Tooru was speaking to him properly.

"Shut up," He muttered, but he couldn't look away. Tooru closed his eyes slowly and smiled knowingly. 

"You know," Tooru murmured, so quiet that Hajime had to concentrate in order to listen. "I never asked you what you thought about my performance that night."

Hajime smiled softly—only because he knew that Tooru couldn't see him. "I-I liked it. It was okay, I guess." He shrugged.

Tooru opened his eyes. "Okay?"

"Well, more than that, actually." Hajime admitted. "You were a whole different person on stage, someone brave and wise. It—well, it was nice to see."

"Right," Tooru nodded to himself. Then, he turned to look at Hajime, and Hajime's breath hitched. In the right light now, Tooru looked ethereal and otherworldly. Hajime felt indebted to him, to anything he needed or wanted.

_It wasn't the last time you'd feel this way._

"Do you prefer me like that?"

Hajime's eyes widened. He wasn't expecting that. "W-What?"

"Do you like me better as Richard Parker, Hajime?" Tooru raised an eyebrow. "Which Tooru do you like more?"

Hajime looked out the window. "Tell me, Tooru, do you prefer your left or right eye?"

Tooru frowned. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"Just answer my question," Hajime looked back at Tooru. "Which do you prefer?"

Tooru looked down at his hands, quiet and surprised. "Well, I don't know. I need them both equally, so I guess I like them both."

"There you go," Hajime smiled.

"I don't get it."

Hajime took Tooru's hands in his own. "Asking me which Tooru I like better is like asking me which eye I prefer. I need them both, because together, they help me see the most beautiful things." Hajime brushed a stray strand of hair from Tooru's forehead. "I like Tooru."

Tooru's eyes began welling up. "Hajime-chan..."

Smiling, Hajime opened up his arms and Tooru fell into them, tears staining the front of Hajime's jacket. Wrapping his arms around the younger boy, Hajime lay his chin on the top of brunet's head, the soft smell of his shampoo soothing him.

"Hajime," Tooru said again, when he pulled away. His hair was dishevelled, his eyes were red and his nose was running, but Hajime had never seen a prettier sight. "Thank you,"

Hajime grinned.

_There weren't just two of Tooru._

_There were thousands._

_And they were all conspiring for your downfall._

_Your permanent downfall._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime sighed. "I didn't mean anything," He promised. "You know that."
> 
> "Whatever," Kunimi stood up breezily, like they'd just been discussing the weather. "All I'm saying is, don't lead the boy on. If what I think is happening, just tell him. It may hurt him, but it's better in the long run."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im alive !!!!!!!
> 
> im sorry for completely disappearing for so long aaa! (although is anyone still following this i don't blame y'all for dropping this i would too this is a mess) but i'm back with a chapter and it's important to the story even if it's a filler,,, so pls bare with me the next chapter will probably get better !!!
> 
> also if u have twitter hmu: smiiefiowers ❤️
> 
> i love u all, have a great day !!

_This night was the real start of our story, Tooru._

_This was the night where the stars shone too bright, just like us, only they didn't burn out in the end._

_This is the beginning of us._

_Are you listening?_

Once the two boys arrived back to the theatre, Hajime and Tooru waited outside while Daichi and Suga headed inside, discussing how to keep an eye on the actor at all times. Hajime had his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the floor, while Tooru was busy fixing his hair.

"So," Hajime mumbled more to the floor than to Tooru. "What happens now?"

Tooru froze for a spilt second, but Hajime caught the momentary action. "I don't know."

Hajime shrugged. "Well, I meant as in us keeping in touch. Because, even though you're okay to hang out with, I do have a job to go to."

Tooru looked Hajime up and down. "Okay to hang out with? That's the nicest thing Hajime-chan has said to me!" He laughed, and Hajime lightly hit the side of his head, a waterfall of curses flowing from his mouth. "But who said I want to hang out with you?"

_He was brutal like that. Had a heart of stone._

"Well, I—" Hajime cleared his throat awkwardly. "I just thought—"

"My dear Hajime-chan," Tooru cooed, pinching the shorter boy's cheek. "You are so fun to mess with!" He laughed as Hajime's scowl deepened.

"But in all seriousness, these past two days have been very fun and I would like to keep in touch."

Hajime couldn't suppress the wave of relief that swept through him at the other boy's words. "Okay, then can I have your number?"

Tooru's eyes gleamed. "My, my, very forward, aren't we, Hajime-chan?"

"Shut up," Hajime reached in his pocket and gave him a pen. "Just write it down."

Tooru giggled, but did it anyway, scrawling it mindlessly on Hajime's arm. "There." He announced, ceremoniously putting the lid back on the pen and handing it to Hajime. "Don't lose it, it's precious."

Hajime rolled his eyes. "How am I meant to lose it if it's literally on me?" He snarled. Tooru laughed.

"Knowing you, Hajime-chan, you'd probably still lose—" Hajime smacked the other boy around the head. He couldn't believe what he was letting himself get into.

_It only goes down from here._

\-------

The next day, Hajime headed back to work, in an unusually good mood. Sure, the client he was having trouble with was still there, but he had the sun in his cheeks and Tooru in his phone, telling him to have a good day.

Hajime couldn't remember the last time he was so... _entranced_ by a friend or acquaintance the way he was with Tooru. He filled his thoughts, his mind, his soul. He was with him, whether he liked it or not.

"Iwaizumi-san," Kunimi appeared in his doorway. "Do you have a second?"

In a flash, Hajime turned his phone off. "Sure," He smiled, gesturing to the seat in front of him. "Is everything okay with the client?"

Kunimi stared at the seat, but remained standing. "The client's fine." His voice was clipped and distant. "I'm here to talk about Kindaichi."

The smile vanished as fast as it appeared. "Is he okay?"

"I should be the one asking you," There was a glint in Kunimi's eyes that Hajime didn't understand. "Seeing as I haven't heard from him since you stood him up a couple of days ago."

Hajime's nose crinkled. "I didn't stand Kindaichi up."

"Okay, fine." Kunimi's voice was still flat, so Hajime couldn't tell what he was getting at. "But leaving him a text message that doesn't explain your sudden disappearance doesn't help either, does it?"

"What's it to you?" Hajime scowled. "It's none of your business. And besides, I'm sure Kindaichi didn't mind."

Kunimi returned an equally menacing grimace. "No, you're right, it's none of my business." He folded his arms, and Hajime mirrored the action. "But you can't blame me for asking some questions when Kindaichi calls me at 3am, in tears."

Hajime's heart stopped. "It wasn't that bad, was it?"

Kunimi pounced on the chair Hajime offered earlier, peering into the other man's eyes. The older boy unknowingly moved back. "Kindaichi's so nice he felt like it was his fault that you left. You know how upset he was?" He shook his head. "I tried to calm him down for a good hour, and he still didn't seem convinced that you messed up, and not him."

_But Kunimi didn't get it. I couldn't control what he could do._

"How did I mess up?" Hajime frowned. "It wasn't like I left without a trace. At least I texted him before I went, right?"

Kunimi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You may as well have. Kindaichi's sensitive, you know." He didn't sound angry; he just sounded tired. "He overthinks like crazy, and fleeting texts like yours don't help matters."

Hajime scoffed and leaned back in his chair. "You know, the way you talk about him, it's almost like you wanna date him."

Kunimi flinched, as if Hajime had pinched him. The spiky haired boy raised an eyebrow. "I can't decide who Kindaichi likes," He held weight in every word, as if it were a tragic conclusion he'd just come to, after years of deliberation. "But I can make sure he doesn't get hurt. And if it means I need to stray him away from people like you," He shrugged and unfolded his arms. "So be it."

_He was so full of love; of hope. He was lucky Oikawa never got to him._

Hajime sighed. "I didn't mean anything," He promised. "You know that."

"Whatever," Kunimi stood up breezily, like they'd just been discussing the weather. "All I'm saying is, don't lead the boy on. If what I think is happening, just tell him. It may hurt him, but it's better in the long run."

"What do you mean?"

Kunimi shook his head. "That doesn't matter." He began to head to the door. "Just, let him down easy, okay?"

Hajime opened his mouth to argue, then realised it was pointless. "Okay."

"Good," Kunimi grinned, closing the door behind him. "I'm glad we had this talk, Iwaizumi-san."

Hajime didn't respond, just looked down at his phone. If what I think is happening, just tell him. Was he really that obvious? He knew it wasn't right to get this attached so fast, especially to someone he'd only just met. Oikawa Tooru was an unpredictable man, and he didn't know where this would take him. And if it was going to get innocent people like Kindaichi hurt, well then maybe it wasn't worth it.

_You have (1) new text message from: **Oikawa Tooru**_

Sighing, Hajime turned his phone off. He didn't have to think of this now. They'd only just started talking; it wasn't even guaranteed that they'd end up becoming best friends, or dating.

_You have (2) new text messages from: **Oikawa Tooru**_

He'd be okay. He knew how to act and control himself. He'd know when things got out of control.

Right?

_Wrong._

_He's biding his time, he's waiting, he's watching._

_He's closing in, making you feel comfortable before mercilessly attacking._

_You'd know when things got out of control? Wrong._

_Because you were the one helping him._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okay, you need to stop doing that." Hajime shook his head and pulled out another, this time lighting it before Tooru could do anything. Blowing a few smoke rings, he looked over at the other boy. "What are you doing here?"
> 
> Tooru took the lighter off Hajime. "I came to see my boyfriend." He struggled with the lighter at first, before eventually burning the tip of the cigarette. Holding it between his fingers, he tilted his head. "Why, is that so bad?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo ladies and gentlemen
> 
> two updates in two days !! i have a lot of inspiration and creative energy so im trying to channel it into this story, though im not sure the outcome is as good as i want it to be?? i hope u all are enjoying this,, because this story is starting to show some hints of the end (actually it's not that obvious i only know because i know what happens hahahahahahaha)
> 
> okAY i need to shut up so y'all can read this !! if you wanna chat on twitter : smiiefiowers uwu
> 
> have an amazing day i love you all ❤️

_It started to become more frequent._

_Meeting in corridors, skyping at the office. He was everywhere._

_I didn't think it would matter, but I was wrong._

_Oh, I was so wrong._

"Night, Iwaizumi-san!" Kindaichi quipped. Hajime gave him a curt nodded, head still buzzing with thoughts after his conversation with Kunimi. Said boy nodded slightly from behind Kindaichi.

"Don't stay too late," Hajime warned, and Kindaichi nodded. Kunimi kept his eyes on his senior, as if he were trying to figure him out. Hajime squirmed under his watchful gaze.

_You were distant to them all. You no longer became the colleague they loved._

Stepping into the elevator, Hajime sighed to himself before pressing the button to the carpark. He had so much to think about — work, Oikawa, Kunimi and Kindaichi, what to have for dinner — that he could feel the weight of him following him around, like a grey cloud, or the ayakashi he'd read about when he was younger.

The elevator doors opened just as Hajime fished out a cigarette from the pack in his pocket. He had just placed it between his lips when he noticed the tousled hairdo of the one and only —

"Tooru?" Hajime frowned. "What are you doing here?"

The mentioned boy grinned and stepped forward, once again taking the cigarette off the older. "Hello to you, too."

"Okay, you need to stop doing that." Hajime shook his head and pulled out another, this time lighting it before Tooru could do anything. Blowing a few smoke rings, he looked over at the other boy. "What are you doing here?"

Tooru took the lighter off Hajime. "I came to see my boyfriend." He struggled with the lighter at first, before eventually burning the tip of the cigarette. Holding it between his fingers, he tilted his head. "Why, is that so bad?"

Hajime's heart stopped. "Boyfriend?" He felt dizzy. He'd only just convinced himself he didn't need to worry about this but, as it became increasingly common, he was wrong. "Who said anything about dating?"

"Well, no one." Tooru shrugged, blowing smoke. "But I figured, we've been hanging out a lot, and we've kissed and shit, so we're practically dating, right?" He grinned, as if his reasoning made all the sense in the world.

_He was always like that. He made the decision, you went with it. It's the only way you'd survive with him._

"I don't even know you, Tooru." Hajime rubbed at his temples, closing his eyes. "We literally met two days ago."

"You know me plenty, Hajime-chan." Tooru beamed. He watched as cigarette ash fell to the floor. "Besides, isn't that what you do in relationships? Get to, you know," He waved his hand around randomly. "Know each other better and stuff?"

"It's more than just that." Hajime sighed. "You can't just rush into things like this, okay?" He opened his eyes.

Tooru raised the hand that wasn't holding the cigarette in defeat. "Yeah, I get that. But I know you like me, Hajime." He smiled again. "You wouldn't be here talking otherwise."

_He was so sure of himself, it was scary. It was scary how right he always was._

Hajime opened his mouth to argue, but it was true. If it were anyone else, he would have left by now. "Tooru, I need to get home."

"Go home then," Tooru was still smiling, but Hajime glared at the floor. "I'll come with."

"Shouldn't you be practicing for your next show?" He tried to change the topic. "Madoka-chan must be waiting for you."

Tooru shook his head. "It's my night off. Suga knows I'm here, too."

"I have work to do, Tooru." Hajime bit his lip. "You can't come."

Something changed in Tooru's eyes then. They grew dark, and he stepped closer to Hajime. Throwing the rest of the cigarette on the ground, he stepped on it, and Hajime watched as it was crushed into ash. "Are you hiding something, Hajime?"

_He could change, just like that. You had to be careful with this boy. One wrong move, and he'd eat you alive._

Hajime tried to retreat, to retrace his steps. "I just think this is all happening so fast, Tooru. I don't know what to do."

"Well, I'll tell you." Tooru leaned forward, so his face was nearly touching the other boy's. "You just go with this, okay?"

"No," Hajime pushed Tooru away and frowned. "Where do you get off making all the decisions? I want space, and if you really cared about me, you'd understand that."

Tooru growled, like he was in pain. "Listen to me, Hajime. I don't spend time with people who don't want me around."

"Then take a hint, Tooru." Hajime spat. Tooru looked away.

"I'm just trying to do the good thing." He mumbled. "Why are you making this so hard for me?"

_Ever the victim. Like he'd never done any wrong._

"The good thing?" Hajime shook his head. "In what sadistic universe is this the good thing?"

Tooru sighed. "I've never done this before," He admitted. "I'm not used to having to go after people I like because, usually, they go after me." He glanced at Hajime before looking down again. "But I'm willing to go after you."

Hajime crossed his arms and frowned. "I don't know what you're getting at, Tooru."

"Look, I like you, okay?" Tooru returned the glare, as if it pained him to say those words. "I enjoy spending time with you. And, yeah, you're hot too — the kind of guy I'd want for a boyfriend."

A brief moment of silence engulfed them before Hajime shook his head again, putting out his cigarette. "You're so weird, I swear." He sighed, but when he looked up at the other boy, he was smiling. "But I can appreciate that."

"You can?" Tooru's eyes went wide, followed by the biggest smile Hajime'd ever seen. "Are you saying what I think you are?"

Tooru leaned in for a hug, but Hajime pushed him back. "One step at a time," He warned, keeping his hands on the other boy's chest. "I'm not gonna run off into the sunset with you, but I am willing to invite you over, get to know you better, and see how stuff works out."

"You can keep turning me down, Hajime," Tooru grinned. "Or you could just admit that you're into me and make this whole thing easier."

_He was right._

_He was always right._

_I thought I was in control?_

_I couldn't be more wrong._

\--------------------------

"So," Hajime opened the door wide enough for Tooru to lean over his shoulder. "This is my apartment."

The brunet welcomed himself in, flipping onto the couch and looking around. "It's a nice place. I mean, I've seen better, but it's nice." He finished, nodding like he had just discovered the cure for cancer.

Hajime scowled, hanging up his coat. "I'm sorry, but I do the best I can." He huffed. "Not all of us are rich movie stars, you know."

" _Actors_ ," Tooru stood up, and Hajime hated the few inches the other boy had over him. "I've never actually been in a movie."

"Thank God," Hajime sighed, and headed into the kitchen. "I can barely put up with you now, but with your face that big? You'd be unstoppable."

_He didn't have to be in the movies for that. He was unstoppable right when he was._

"Unstoppable," Tooru mused. "More of a compliment than an insult, dont you think?"

"Shut up," Hajime snapped, though he supposed Tooru was right. "Can I get you anything?"

"Sure," Tooru took to one of the tall stools by the counter. "Do you have any beer?"

Hajime fixed the other boy a look. "When are you not drinking?"

"Hey, you offered!" Tooru pouted, and Hajime rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't have said _anything_ if you didn't mean it, you know."

"Fine," Hajime brought out a lone beer. "One. But that's it. Suga'll want you home soon, anyway."

"Actually, he won't." Tooru replied, sipping the drink with a shit eating grin. "I told him I was staying over here."

" _What_?" He slammed his hand on the counter. "Tooru, are you kidding me?"

"No!" The brunet raised his hands to his face in defence. "Look, I didn't think you'd turn me down! I figured, well," Tooru began to turn red. "This would, uh, go in a different way."

Hajime frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Don't make me explain myself," Tooru hissed. "I meant, _a different way_."

The realisation hit Hajime like bricks on his head: painful and hard to ignore. Soon, he was turning redder than his red cushions. "What. The. _Fuck_."

"I'm _sorry_!" Tooru whined, shaking his head. "This is humiliating for the both of us, okay, so just — stop looking at me like I told you I killed your puppy or whatever."

"Listen up," Hajime spat. "Because I'm an okay person, I'm gonna let you stay." Tooru opened his mouth to reply, but the spiky haired boy wasn't taking any of it. "I'm not finished. You can stay, but you get the couch. It's pullout, so don't start complaining about how there's no space for you or whatever."

Tooru took another sip. "Lead the way. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted."

Hajime gave him another look. This was going be a long night.

\----------------------

"Hajime."

"Hajime, I _know_ you can hear me."

" _Hajime_."

Grumbling to himself, Hajime checked his phone for the time. It was 2am, and Tooru hadn't let him get a wink of sleep the whole night.

_"Your couch is so uncomfortable, Hajime."_

_"Hey, we could have like, a slumber party, you know?"_

_"Hajime, do you think aliens exist?"_

_Hajime, Hajime, Hajime_. He was starting to loathe the fact that his mother had named him this way. He'd heard his name more in the span of two hours compared to the rest of his life so far, and he wanted nothing more than to kick Tooru out.

Sighing, he got out of bed. It was pointless ignoring him, and it wasn't like he was going to get any sleep, anyway. So he walked outside to see Tooru sitting up in his bed, bewilderment in his eyes.

_You couldn't ignore him. You could never get away._

"Hajime," He beamed, as the older boy stepped into the living room. "I knew you'd come."

"What is wrong with you?" Hajime whisper-yelled. "It's 2am!"

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Tooru tilted his head to the side and Hajime rolled his eyes. "Anyway, you're out here now, yeah?"

"Yeah," Hajime sat down beside him. "So, what did you want?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing." The raven haired boy fought the urge to smack Tooru upside the head. "I just got lonely."

"Do you just get lonely every night, then?" He shuffled around. As much as he hated to admit it, Tooru was right. His couch _sucked_.

"Well, no, because I'm never alone." Tooru shrugged. "Except tonight, of course."

"Are you serious?" Hajime wrinkled his nose. "You've never slept alone?"

_He'd never needed to. We'd bend over backwards for his will._

"My adoring fans are more than happy to help," Tooru winked and Hajime rolled his eyes again. If he wasn't careful, they'd roll back into his head. "So yeah, I've never slept alone."

"That's crazy." Hajime huffed. "Crazy and stupid."

"Call it what you will, I don't care." Tooru leaned back, using his palms to hold him up. "Maybe it's something to do with my abandonment issues as a child. Something I should work out in therapy, huh?"

The joke soured between them. Hajime cleared his throat. "I'll stay with you then. Just for tonight. Then you can, uh," He paused, unsure of what to say or do. "Go back to your _adoring_ fans, or whatever."

Tooru smiled brighter than the sun. "Thank you, Hajime."

"Yeah, well." Hajime ignored the tight feeling in his chest. "I'm gonna sleep, even if you want to stay up all night."

Tooru nodded, still smiling. "Yeah, okay. Sleep well."

And when Hajime lay back on the couch with the warmth of Tooru beside him, he realised that this was the best he'd ever slept.

_He did that sometimes._

_Made you feel safe, then took all the safety as soon as he gave it._

_A con master, a thief, a liar, a cheat._

_He was just being himself._

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime frowned. "Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit here? I mean, we've only known each other a couple of days."
> 
> "To you, maybe." The brunet tried to spit the words out as well, but the usual edge to his words was gone. "But not to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeehaw these updates are getting more frequent nice
> 
> i listened to rumour by k.a.r.d while writing the more intense parts of this chapter, and i strongly recommend listening to it, not just with this but also generally because it's such a good song !! it compliments the story's tone well answered the vocals as well as beats are so good i love legends snjdnsn
> 
> anyway !! i hope you enjoy this chapter, as it marks the official start of the iwaoi in this story !! things get more dramatic here on out, so enjoy this while u can yikes (:
> 
> hmu on twitter for a chat @ smiiefiowers
> 
> have a lovely day !!

_There was something to be said about surviving around Tooru for so long._

_Some call it bravery, others stupidity, some even a death wish._

_But it wasn't like I had a choice._

_I was in, whether I liked it or not._

"Morning!" Hajime opened his eyes to see Tooru smiling over him, pan in hand. "Where do you keep your flour?"

"What?" The spiky haired boy yawned, before sitting up on the couch. "Why do you need flour? And what time is it?"

"I'm making breakfast!" Tooru announced, heading back into the kitchen and completely ignoring Hajime's last question. "So, where is it?"

_He always did that. Only heard what he wanted to hear._

"No, you're not." Hajime stumbled off the couch, taking the pan out of Tooru's hand. "You're going home."

"Aw, what?" Tooru whined. "You're not gonna let me have breakfast?"

"Don't make me out to be the bad guy," Hajime sighed, putting the pan away. "I already let you stay the night." He paused, looking up at Tooru. "How did you even find this pan? I didn't even know I owned one like this."

Tooru shrugged and sat down on a kitchen stool. "You're no fun, Hajime-chan. And I'm not even making you do the work, you know. I said I'll do it myself."

Hajime shook his head. "It's not about the work." He finally decided to randomly shove the pan in the cabinet and shut the doors. "It's about you suddenly deciding to stay the night and now deciding to make breakfast."

"Oh, is little Hajime having alpha issues?" Tooru winked, and Hajime turned a bright red. "Don't worry, I'll let you cook next time."

"No, you will not." Hajime frowned, crossing his arms. "Because there will not be a next time. Because after you finish making me breakfast now, then you'll go home, and Suga won't freak out, and you can go back to your superstar lifestyle."

Tooru beamed. "I knew you'd see it my way!" He hopped off the seat and pulled out the pan again, _much_ to Hajime's dismay. "Anyway, where's the flour?"

\---------------------------

"So?" Tooru looked at Hajime expectantly. "What'd you think?"

Placing his fork down on the plate, Hajime swallowed his last mouthful. He took a deep breath, and tried not to cry or scream because _damn_ , those pancakes were good.

"It was okay," Hajime finally replied, but his heart wasn't in the lie. Tooru must have noticed, because his eyes shone.

_He could see right through me. I could never hide anything from him, no matter how hard I tried._

"Okay," He repeated, and Hajime nodded. "Was it really?"

"Yeah," Hajime frowned, not enjoying being put on the spot. "That's what I said."

Tooru grinned, taking the plate from him. "Sure, we can go with ' _okay_ '." He shrugged nonchalantly, but he was still smiling. "But since you're an editor or whatever, I figured you'd have a better choice of words."

"Shut up," Hajime stood up and followed the other into the kitchen, where Tooru put the dishes in the sink. "I thought you were gonna wash that."

"Why would I," He turned and grinned. "When I know you could later?"

_He played a dangerous game — and no one had ever defeated him._

"If you're gonna stay here, you better start doing your own work." Hajime snapped, folding his arms. "I'm not looking after you."

"I thought I couldn't stay?" Tooru's eyes fixed on Hajime's again. "Has Hajime-chan changed his mind."

_He'd corner you, twist and turn your words to use them against you, and laugh as you struggled. That was the only Oikawa Tooru I knew._

Uneasy with the eye contact, Hajime stared at the floor instead. "Wash those dishes. And then I'm sending you back."

Tooru smiled. "Sure."

\---------------------------

"We're here," Hajime turned the keys in the ignition, silence engulfing the car as the engine died.

Tooru stared absentmindedly at the building in front of them. "I guess we are,"

"So," Hajime cleared his threat and shifted awkwardly in his seat, unsure of what to say next. "I'll see you around?"

"Don't be stupid, Hajime." Tooru spat, and the older's eyes widened in surprise. "We both know that's not going to happen."

_His mind changed like fire ice — polar opposites, both too dangerous to touch._

If the raven haired boy didn't know what to say before, Tooru's little comment had robbed him of his knowledge on the English language. "What?"

"That's what people say when they know that it's over," Tooru looked up at the car's roof, like he was trying not to cry.

Hajime frowned. "Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit here? I mean, we've only known each other a couple of days."

"To you, maybe." The brunet tried to spit the words out as well, but the usual edge to his words was gone. "But not to me."

"What are you saying?" Tooru didn't meet his eye.

"I'm saying, no one's stuck around me this long." His voice was soft now, a whisper. "Even Suga can barely stomach being around me, but you — you genuinely wanted to hang out."

"Yeah, well." Hajime shrugged, but his cheeks began to burn. "I kinda had no choice but to bring you along. I'm pretty sure you would've died if I'd left you out there."

"See? This is what I'm talking about." Tooru shook his head, but he was smiling softly. "No one else cares this much about me."

"Your fans do," The older boy turned to the window. "You know they'd do absolutely anything for you."

_And they would. But he didn't see them. He never had, never would._

"They like Oikawa Tooru, the actor." He grinned wider. "But they don't know Oikawa Tooru, the person. Only you do."

Hajime whipped his head around. "Seriously? You have no other friends?"

Tooru winced momentarily at the comment, but recovered soon enough. "Seriously. That's why I'm always tagging behind you, because I don't wanna lose you."

"You can't lose someone you've just met." Hajime shook his head, frowning. "You can't lose someone you don't know."

"But I do know you," The older boy looked up to see Tooru smiling down at him. "I know you're an editor with a decent vocabulary, that you live alone in your own apartment, that you don't believe in miracles, for some reason, that you love my pancakes, and that I'm so lucky to have you."

"I—"

"I'm not done," Tooru closed his eyes. "These few days — I haven't had anything like them in a long time. I always have to be careful, I have to make sure that my image is safe, that I'm doing what the people want, I could never left myself go." He opened his eyes again. "But with you, I knew you'd keep me safe, so I didn't have to worry." He grinned, and shook his head. "With you, I knew I'd be okay. More so than I'd ever been in my life, even."

"Tooru," Hajime chastised, but when he tried to roll his eyes, tears filled them instead. "You're being stupid."

_He was stupid, so, so, so stupid. But you couldn't look away._

"I'm being honest," The other boy murmured, looking down at his hands. "I can't lose you, Hajime."

"You're being stupid," Hajime repeated, throat closing up. "I don't even know you."

"We can work on that," Tooru promised, turning to look at him. "We have time, Hajime. Just give it time."

_He said it so easily, like it wasn't time that tore us apart._

Hajime closed his eyes and tilted his head back. "You're so stupid, Tooru."

"I know," Tooru shook his head again and reached for the other boy's hand. "I know, I know, I _know_. But I'm willing to take a chance. I'm not giving up on us."

When the older boy finally looked at the brunet again, his eyes were red. "I don't know what to do. What all _this_ ," He waved his free hand furiously, unable to find the words. "Means. What you want from me — I don't know."

Tooru took a deep breath. "It's only been a couple days, yeah?" He tried to sound breezy and light, but his voice was shaking. "We just need to let this work itself out. As long as you want to be around me, then I have faith in us."

Silence filled the car once again. Tooru watched Hajime, watched him as he sighed, closed his eyes before opening them again, shaking his head. "You're so _stupid_." He finally murmured. Tooru felt his heart drop.

"But I get what you're saying." And before Tooru could respond, Hajime intertwined his fingers with the other boy's, giving it a little squeeze. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Tooru to know that he did care, that he was ready.

"Really?" Tooru searched Hajime's face for something he knew he couldn't find. Hajime gave him a watery smile.

"Really." He looked back out at the theatre in front of the car. "Let's do this, yeah?"

And Hajime had never seen Tooru smile wider.

_That's how it had started._

_A few promises, soft words, whispers to make it all better._

_It's a shame we used it all up before we really needed it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont usually do this, but i just wanted to point out when tooru says "just give it time", that it's from another one shot of mine !! it's called 'time' and also features iwaoi,, so i hope u all check it out (:
> 
> thank u and have a great day, stay safe ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> wowee that was a helluva chapter !!
> 
> i hope u all are enjoying this so far, bc im enjoying writing it!! comments & kudos are greatly appreciated as well <3
> 
> ily & have a great day!!


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